kit

2008-11-06T23:44:00.002+08:00

HI EVERYONE! ONCE AGAIN EVERYONE, I'VE MOVED TO http://fishinorbit.blogspot.com

Go there from now on okay? This blog is dead, its just here for memories. Thanks!

2008-10-21T12:06:00.003+08:00

MOVED!

Hi there! I've moved to http://fishinorbit.blogspot.com for the moment. Testing the new template style and all. Its very much different form how the old blogger used to run. Oh well, please visit fishinorbit instead of this website, i'll be posting stuff there from now on. Take care!

Oh and please re-link =)

2008-10-21T01:21:00.000+08:00

I skipped the 3 o'clock lecture firstly because my previous class ended at 12 and i wanted to spend the rest of the day with Vannessa. We had fish soup and i had chips and mushroom soup and we had japanese peas and cereal and i had 6 kinderbuenos =). So we started off with season 2 of friends! Which, sadly, i've watched recently on star world, but oh well, its still funny.

I got a few questions...

Is Austin Powers chest hair authentic?

Why do some women like hairy men? Why don't they just date apes?

Why does hair grow in the weirdest places? And when you grow old, you lose your hair where you really need it the most?

2008-10-20T00:19:00.003+08:00

Summer Hair = Forever Young

We're crashing cars we used to share

with summer girls with summer hair

We're driving 'round chasing the stars

but the party's busted up before it ever starts

I'll never let you go,

Dont ever forget

Tell me you'll remember,

forever young

I'll never let you fall,

it's not over yet,

you & me forever,

forever young

We're forever young

Stop making plans start making sense

Don't you believe any word they said

Sparked up, sparked up like a book of matches,

fallin through the night, rising from the ashes

I'll never let you go,
Dont ever forget
Tell me you'll remember,
forever young
I'll never let you fall,
it's not over yet,
you & me forever,
forever young
We're forever young

Don't come any closer,

Don't tell me it's over,

Don't kiss me goodbye

Here we are,

am I taking this too hard?

Don't say that it's easy,

the hardest part is leavin

Don't you wonder why...

Suddenly, we're all running out of time

I'll never let you go,

Dont ever forget

Tell me you'll remember,

forever young

I'll never let you fall,

it's not over yet,

you & me forever,

forever young

We're forever young

Anyway today is my 5th month with Vannessa =)

5 sounds so small but it feels like a long time since we've been together. I guess its because we've known each other for a long time now;

more than half of our lifetime.
I wish I can continue saying that when i'm 60, I wonder how it'll sound like then.

2008-10-16T23:11:00.002+08:00

Fa-Kit!
.
Today was my first ever tutorial of this semester! And it was damn tedious. I didn't know they had another tutorial for the same lesson the day before. So I made sure to pay extra attention. I can't afford to get the same results anymore, not for the rest of my time in NgeeAnn.

(Wah I can't believe I just said that)
.
So so, while waiting for Chengyong today, i meet Fauzi! He wrote a song about his pencil case, because he couldnt find it. I don't know why someone would do that but he finally found the case in his bag. We went to the Atrium and got damn bored. Soooooo, we made a video. I think it will be the first of more to come. I didn't really know what I was doing, and I think Fauzi edited the video to make fun of me? But i haven't seen it yet. In this video we tried to lip-sync "When I grow up" by the Pussycat Dolls. We looked... wrong. Anyway will upload tmr cause its taking quite long to get up onto youtube.

So I went down to NUM office after that and they said I had to bring my name tag down to get my last paycheck. They should've told me earlier. I wasn't informed, bloody wasted trip. But i got my pants back, from this alteration thing at Far East. Its finally wearable!

V came over after, we finished season 1 of friends! On to season 2!

2008-10-15T14:02:00.002+08:00

I really don't know whats going to happen. But i hope everything turns out alright.

2008-10-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

A Fedac a day keep the noises away.

2008-10-11T19:13:00.003+08:00

This is Vans blogging &&&&&&&&&&& we r kooking naow. Kit is kooking (omg @ the k's) an omelette with whisky and ham. Which is quite weird..and my peas are on the stove cooking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We found the peas my mom bought from i forgot where but today, we found it. I am a piece of lard i ate chips just naowwww. But itz ok. Campbell is on the stove too and OMG HE FLIPPED THE OMELETTE!!!!!!!!!! Now if i were to even try flipping anything on the stove it'd probably land on the ceiling and we'd have to scrape it off with a broom or something but ok i have to go cook my peas now the excitement is over baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Ok but this was yesterday anyway i was cooking peas (!!!) OK BAI HE'S CALLING ME BAI.

2008-10-10T02:41:00.003+08:00

Run baby run

I spent today with Vannessa. It was like a little adventure. We decided to hit Little India first, Chinatown after, and lastly my place for TV. I can't believe I've actually visited 2 significant culture locations in Singapore within a day considering that I'm not the biggest fan of these places. The thing is, I actually enjoyed it, in a way if you'd kindly minus the funny smells, the huge amount of litter which I contributed a little to, the crazy pigeons flocking around us waiting for the final mouth of our pratas before they storm in to finish off what’s left and lastly, the funny smells. Some parts of Little India quite unbearable, I'm not saying i hate the smell but I’m just not used to it.

.
Went into this watch shop and the girl bought a $60 black vintage watch. Rather nice, I can't believe they provided a 2 year guarantee. I should get my watched from there next time. Little India actually have good quality cheap vintage shit.

After walking around for quite a bit more we stumbled upon bag heaven! Like vintage bags in every single corner, and they aren't at all expensive. Vans and I just had to have a vintage briefcase each, even if we didn't intend to use it out, cause it was running for a mere $25? Also I pulled out a slip case from some crack, like stuffed in a dusty corner. It was freaking covered in dust but it was what i was looking for since a long, long time ago. Old school hand carry black leather slip case, guess what, 8 dollars.
Can like, stuff a lot of nonsense inside. That was the best buy of the day.

I won't post all the photos cause, cause, i don't know i just won't upload all the photos.

Its been awhile since i've had pictures on the blog. I hope its refreshing.

2008-10-09T12:55:00.002+08:00

4.45am

This time i slept later... I spent my time thinking and fidgeting in bed till i decided to go down to the balcony again. The view was different, the skys weren't clouded and there were quite a number of stars. The forest was misty cause it was close to the morning and it rained before.

Rather calming.

Yesterday a few of us went to watch a movie at Lido. EagleEye, seriously not bad, worth a watch. Ended up at holland v to have supper, couldn't decide on what to eat so ended up walking around so much we finally stopped at swensen's. Which i think have funny tasting bread for their clam cowder.

2008-10-08T02:56:00.002+08:00

Its 3.30 am

And i can't sleep, i've spent the last few hours on my bed.

So i went down to my balcony and watched cars go by on the PIE. Its been awhile since i've done that. But i just needed to do some thinking alone and get my mind straightened out.

I need everything settled and arranged properly.

I can't stand it when my mind is clouded and confused.

2008-10-07T02:20:00.005+08:00

Thunder

Today is a winding road

that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go

Today in the blink of an eye

I'm holding on to something

and I do not know why

I tried

I tried to read between the lines

I tried to look in your eyes

I want a simple explanation

For what I'm feeling inside

I gotta find a way out

Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder,

and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road

Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know

Today I'm on my own

I can't move a muscle

and I can't pick up the phone

I don't know

And now I'm itching for the tall grass

And longing for the breeze

I need to step outside

Just to see if I can breathe

I gotta find a way out

Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder,

and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope

I'm wrapped up in vines

I think we'll make it out

But you just gotta give me time

Strike me down with lightning

Let me feel you in my veins

I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road

that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder,

and I said

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors

I don't wanna ever love another

You'll always be my thunder

And bring on the thunder,

and I said

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Do you know you're unlike any other?

You'll always be my thunder

So bring on the rain

Oh baby bring on the pain

And listen to the thunder

The lyrics to Thunder decribes how i feel now, every single word and sentence.

We all seldom find the song which hits how you're feeling in that split moment.

And when it does, you'll finally understand what it really means to you

I never really knew what this song meant till today...

2008-10-06T17:20:00.004+08:00

Sunday night

Its 5.20pm on a Monday morning and I just woke up.

I went down to StJames with a few people last night, got home close to sunrise. Shall not reveal any details. Thank god for the VIP pass.

Stumbled home and collasped onto bed. Felt funny but i woke up okay.

Last night was fun. I made new friends =)

2008-10-05T18:09:00.002+08:00

We've got a big mess on our hands

I’ve got that lefty curse

Where everything I do is flipped

And awkwardly reversed

Seldom known and barely missed

I always put myself in destructive situations

I need oxygen

To be exposed where no one goes, where no one’s been

When it all comes crashing…

Somebody get my phone

So I can throw it in a public pool

and watch it float as it's slowly sinking down,

Become a social ghost inside a box,

cut at the top to let some light shine in

to remind me what I’ve done and where I’ve been

When it all comes crashing…

2008-10-05T00:56:00.003+08:00

Last day at work.

Just came home from my last day of work at Heeren. I don't know how the hell everyone knew i'm was quiting. Like from other outlets around, they kept coming over and kept on asking me why i'm doing what i did. I got tired of repeating.

Anyway, looking back i've really got to say that the thing i enjoyed most from these many months at Newurbanmale.com were the people i worked with. They've been such a blast, seriously. Its kinda sad leaving them behind. I've spent countless hours working with many of the ambassadors, i've made a couple of awesome friends and it won't be easy letting everyone go all at once. So, i guess i might be popping by to say hello once in awhile.

So comes the end to this phase and the only thing i guess i can do now is to throw my hands in the ayer, ay, ayer, ayer, ay, ayer.

2008-10-01T23:46:00.003+08:00

3 more days to the last day of work. =D

Last night little brother, Chengyong, Joel and I sat downstairs armed with chips, instant noodles and ice cream; attempted to scare the crap out of ourselves by turning off all the lights and watch Silent Hill. Not that scary but gross. Interesting story line that is hard to believe; in a way, no explanation to a few events.

Its hard to go through the day on meds. Like, strong dosages which render you tired and dizzy. But you get the best sleep in like forever, seriously. Kinda nice for a change.

2008-09-30T23:19:00.002+08:00

Note to self

1.Its not smart to wait for a cab in the rain. Cause they never come.

2.Zara paper bags are useless in the crusade to aid ones shelter of head in the rain. It simple dies.

3.Stay out of rain when already sick.

4. Don't drug yourself when out.

2008-09-29T23:13:00.002+08:00

F1 day

28th of Sept was my brother's bday and F1 day.

Was watching from tower club 63 storeys up in CBD area. Had view of entire track. Damn bloody awesome. Plus they installed a huge tv in the dining room. So we could watch there too. Nice dinner.

After that we went down to clarke quay and stood approximately 50m from the track. You can't really see the cars but the shadows went pass the bridge in less than a second. They were damn loud. Next year i'm going to watch it 100%.

Spent time with V today. I'm sick though. Like i got this bad ass flu which won't go away no matter how many panadol flumax pills i pop. I have this headache and i can't hear properly. I really need to go to the doctor's tmr. Shit.

Anyway, Vannessa is like selling clothes and handmade skirts on her blog. Have a look if you're intereted. Eh wait, why am i promothing her, later she so much work less time for me. But have a look la, she got some interesting stuff.

2008-09-28T02:39:00.002+08:00

The last week

Today is F1 day =)

A week from now i'll officially stop work at Newurbanmale.com. Saturday will be my last day.

In a way, i'm kinda sad leaving some awesome ppl behind. But well i can go join the company again if i want to.

I've spent the last 1 hour licking chocolate spread off a knife.

I want to revamp or move blog. But the skins are all the same. So its kinda like everyone is using the same piece of shit. Not, nice.

2008-09-27T02:37:00.003+08:00

Talk to me

I hate the way you stop talking to me halfway. You make me sit in front of the computer for nothing. Oh well.

Anyway, I have gotten a rough idea of what i want for my tattoo. The only thing is when. I've decided that the arm is not the right place to go. The sentence,

" Till Death Do Us Part?"

across the upper back. Lighter to darker shade from top to bottom.

Because ever since granddad passed, the only thing i thought about was why he left so quickly and suddenly. Now its different, now i wonder why i didn't spend more time with him while he was around. So till death do us part as a question will remind me to spend more time with the people i love before any of us pass.

2008-09-26T03:43:00.002+08:00

Lift off

Just came back from clubbing. Shit i drank quite a a bit, Hermy sponsor drinks non stop. I am a little dizzy. But the thing is, the thing is Irene Ang and Rebecca Tan were in the house!!! =D Irene came over and talk to us .

" Hello Chairman, Secretary, treasurer!"

I didn't know what the bullocks she was talking about

Then after chatting for a bit she went

" Fuck you!" in a joking manner, smiled and walked to smoke with her friend.

She's cool, with the leather jacket, cap and all.

All in all, the party was awesome.

I gotta go sleep now, i'm just gonna fall on my bed and enjoy the long sleep ahead.

Goodnight people! =D

2008-09-24T04:02:00.003+08:00

Hope you understand.

Its 4.05 am in the morning and i have just submitted my resignation letter to Shenzi, who, if you don't know, is the boss of Newurbanmale.com. I took 2 hours to complete the letter and sat at the screen for a few minutes before i sent it. I wanted to be sure. Well, I guess its all for the better. My letter included a few phrases,

"Its 345am in the morning and I’ve been thinking a lot for a very, very long time."

"I’ve been working in NewUrbanMale.com for about 7-8 months now and I must say it has been the most wonderful working experience"

About granddad-

"This I must say was something that was difficult to shrug away during work. Pictures of that day kept coming up during work, I couldn’t concentrate but I tried my best to do so. I could never forget what happened so quickly, and I don’t intend to."

About results-

"Needless to say I feel disappointed. Also my parents want me to study in a local university, which is very difficult now because of results."

About last wednesday-

"I suppose you blame me in a way. However I would like to say that I’ve always done my best in this company. Whatever it is I have always given my best."

"Now, dealing with the recent death of my grandfather, my poor results and last Wednesday’s incident. I have to say that I resign from the company."

"I wanted to let you know that I really need to leave and get my life back on track"

"I sincerely hope you understand my situation and that you will forgive me for this sudden resignation."

"Goodbye for now, hope you have a nice day today."

This were just some phrases out of my 1400 word letter to him. I really hopes he gets it.

Anyway! Vannessa just got inked today, you should check out her blog... like, go click on her link on your left. Alright i gotta go catch some sleep. Its 4.13 already i'm supposed to wake up at 845 because neinei chengyong want to gym again. If you do hear about his motivation to gym, you will laugh and call him stupid. I think you're stupid.

Also i wanna watch silent hill soon! Like at night, call a few people to come over and get chips and we'll just scared the shit out of each other. Can't wait!

2008-09-22T00:43:00.003+08:00

Of Morton's and this little fairytale.

Started off at her place. The woman was more interested in sewing her skirts than going out with me or giving me the slightest attention. She took 50 minutes to change and prepare, i waited. But it was okay, the end result was gorgeous.

We bus-ed down to Flea-tique at the Art Museum. Took a look around she got a dress and we skipped to Raffles Shopping Centre where she got a nice little top from Topshop. I fucking love that top its bloody hot.

Anyway we found ourselves taking a slow walk towards the Oriental hotel. Hand in hand, smiles and anticipation into the soft red carpet and eventually outside Morton's the Steakhouse.

Had our own customised menus with our names on them in a room of our own with a lighted candle by the side of the table.

I will say it again, Morton's have the best steak in the entire country. Eat cut is different, hers melted on tongues and the subtle taste of the meat and grilled outside spreads slowly through the entire mouth. Mine burst into flavour the moment you pop it in your mouth, each bite ends in a different taste, a little salty at the obscene good parts of the meat. The best New York Striplion you can ever have.

Sat across each other after dinner and I wondered, what did i do to deserve something like this. I couldn't help but just gave a genuine smile and try to remember that face the best i can..

Exited with goodbyes.

Live Jazz music was on and we had a slow dance on the soft carpets.

I am so happy.

20th September was one of the best nights ever.

2008-09-20T00:39:00.005+08:00

You were the only face I'd ever known.

Wednesday was the worst day of work ever. Its a very very long story i have repeated it countless times. I think i'll write it down for the sake of remembering.

2 people working at Citylink 2. Kit and Shai. Shai went next door to take over danial he went toilet and new guy in store so must take care. Shai very tired because he was fasting. Kit damn busy cause he was alone. No time to serve customer, doing 3 things at once at the counter. Saw customer walk in, male about 50 years old in yellow top hair falling in the middle. Look a little nutso. No time to serve or great cause in big rush. Shai came back tired. Stand one side and look up to think, walks to beatles section and arrange and pack stock walk back to one side and stand. Yellow customer walk pass walk out walk back in and starts shouting at Shai.

"You are a lousy sales person and you don't deserve to work in this company!"

Natural reaction, a shocked " Why?"

" WHY?! You dare to ask me why?! You never serve me yadda yadda yadda... never have i stepped into newurbanmale and blah blah blah.."

Kits noticed the scene and ran over away from other customers.

" Sorry sir but what seems to be the problem?"

" You ask me whats the problem?! Ask your friend here whats the problem!"

Shai looks very worried.

I explain " sry sir my friend here is fasting and is incredibly tired i hope you can understand and..."

"I DON'T CARE!"

"huh..."

Conversation continued for quite sometime

" I want to talk to your manager. I want him to come down and talk to me!"

" What... you want me to call my manager?"

"Yes"

"okay.."

Went to call colin.

"What is he a mental patient?"

"He is fucking crazy i tell you"

By then all the customers left because he was shouting like a mad fuck.

And while speaking at the corner i hear customer shout

" I DONT CARE I WON'T LEAVE EVEN IF YOU CALL THE POLICE!"

Colin came down in fifteen minutes. Within this span i talked with the customer, offering a drink, a seat. He asked my name and explained that i shouldn't have defended Shai and that i was putting him in a position.

Colin came down they had a very long talk. Vannessa came in talked to me went upstairs to wait and Colin came back in and said he had to talk to the both of us. The meeting started at 950pm. Which was closing time... i was supposed to leave with lover at 10. Both stores were called in and he raised many issues. Like how Shai and I weren't serving and all. WE WERE BUSY. I don't think i deserve a lecture after trying to stick up for a fellow ambassador. I don't think i deserve all these nonsense. The worst thing was when i said i had to leave because gf was waiting and has a 11 o clock curfew, he said this

" Kit, if your girlfriend is all you can think about now, i suggest you quit, and walk out now."

Exchange stares.

Kept quiet. Finished at 10.50. Ran out to meet lover and apologise and cabbed home.

They decided to make changes and move me to VivoCity effective next week.

But i have to say, i did not do anything wrong. I have never monkey-ed around. I always try to push sales and i dare to say i have earn the company quite a sum of money.

If you rather believe that maniac and not your own ambassador and you don't appreciate all i've done and still wanna move me.

I can tell you this,

I quit.

I will hand in my resignation after the holidays, Goodbye NewUrbanMale.

Honestly, it hasnt been the greatest pleasure.

Anyway theres football tomorrow its been quite awhile since i've played, its going to be rough.

Lastly, Happy Anniversary Lover! Today we will celebrate by going to the evening event at National Museum. And have a reserved at 8.15pm dinner at Morton's.

I'm thinking about a long paragraph to write to you, but the only 2 sentences that keep coming back into my head is

I love you

and

I really hope we last forever.

2008-09-16T23:24:00.005+08:00

Wah... Sian ji pua.

The previous blog post was all a mistake. We'll apparently my phone wasn't functioning properly and i recieved all your messages after i turned it off and on again. Love you.

2008-09-16T23:24:00.003+08:00

So what happens now..

I called you about 6 times and sent about 5 messages. No reply or answer. Are you ignoring me?

You said you'd pick me up at after work.

I waited outside the closed door for 20 minutes, hoping you were late.

Guess you didn't intend to come. I left.

You said you would come though...

Why aren't you talking to me.

Why weren't you there?

I spent the whole day thinking whether anything happened to you

I couldn't concentrate on work.

Well, i need to sleep this off.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed your day...

2008-09-15T23:33:00.001+08:00

The bottom line is...

GPA 1.7

Failed Macroeconomics. Repeat...

2008-09-15T00:26:00.002+08:00

No title.

Went back home after the first night of the chalet because i wanted to meet v to fetch her home from work. I woke up at 7 and cabbed down i was lazy. Im starting to like tori q. The sauce very nice =) Anyway i had a headache and was very sleepy.

Sunday woke up at 3 worked at wheelocks at 5 now im home and i'm going to sleep. Goodnight.

It is starting to feel different.

2008-09-12T02:01:00.003+08:00

Facetious Pig.

Tomorrow morning work. Then rush to orchard then rush to chalet. I don't really know what day I'm going to until. Cause I've got work on Sunday.

I still wonder at times. Its not pretty. I wonder what could be in it? Then again do i really want to know?

Alright will continue when i get back from chalet. Till then. Bye.

But it may just be a day. So what the hell.

2008-09-11T02:03:00.002+08:00

What about now?

Im tired. 2 days work both 11am-10pm. First day of work i slept at 2.30. Today is the second night im staying up me and guys are watching football at 3am and i got to get up tmr to go shopping with lover. We're going to Morton's on 20th =)

Will be away on friday sat and sunday cause of work and chalet.

Lots of things are happening at work. Something is coming up soon. I wonder what will happen.

2008-09-09T00:06:00.002+08:00

Its been a month
.
Its been a month since you left. Your room is still empty. I still remember the times with you. And how i wanted to spend more time with you when you were leaving. And how i broke down when you did.
I still tear when i think about you at times.
But most of all granddad... most of all...
I still miss you.
.

2008-09-08T16:13:00.004+08:00

Till death do us part?

Yesterday's wedding was awesome i am very happy for them.

I wore suit =)

I like weddings. I like watching the couples and their reactions and expressions and smiles.

We went to the mart all dressed up and it felt weird. But i like wearing the suit. Very fun.

2008-09-07T00:42:00.005+08:00

What would you do?
.
Tomorrow is wedding day for Bobby. Bobby is my cousin. He is happy. I am happy.
.
Work today was okay. Not bad. But nothing fantastic.
.
Thursday went out with Joel Acy and Serena to haji and town. Serena and i played guitar heroes, i fucking suck i lose every single song. We saw jeanette i scream and run to her and she scream back and spasm on the spot and we hug and spin so happy to see that moron. We met jerrold and had supper at clementi after.
.
Friday worked in morning and had dinner with lover, mother and brother at west coast. I plan to bring lover to Morton's to have the best steak she will ever taste in her lifetime.

2008-09-04T01:45:00.007+08:00

We the Cellophane

I know that in almost every post i say that im tired. Well i never noticed but i've been very tired for a very long time.

Tomorrow i'm going out with a few close friends. It's been a long time. Seriously.

About the tattoo, we'll hang on a little longer and see how it goes.

More politics, i heard some stuff happening within the outlet. Get ready for a storm.

I love the way you put everything into words. I can't wait to read the next one

I need an adreline rush soon.

I have a song that can describe my life as it is now - Terrassa by KC Taylor

2008-09-01T23:47:00.003+08:00

Wah fucking pain.

I blew $470 on a suit. It is the largest bill i've ever signed before. I have never ever bought anything else so expensive. Well to wear anyway. But i love it, it fits. I thought of altering the waist though. But my pants have to cause its really too long. But pants so comfy its like you're not wearing anything. Its pinstriped though. Vannessa and i tried to decide between the pinstriped and grey suit for quite a long time. Im just happy i got it but sad that i used up quite a bit of money. Oh well i must find more events to use it. But who am i to complain, jeanette's bag cost more than whatever i wear on my whole body.

Today dad saw the suit and he was like, not bad, not bad but a little bit tight. He brushed my shoulders and patted several parts of the suit and nods. "Let my try on... wah very small". Gives the suit back to me. " I bring you to customise your own suit".

"Not expensive meh?"

" No la 500 to 600 only"

O.O

Tmr supper with Serena and Jeanette at Newton. =D

2008-08-30T02:21:00.003+08:00

I..Am..Tired..

Today i worked at Cineleisure from 5pm to 1am i feel like shit its 2.45am now tmr i have to wake up early for football and after i have to rush down to Wheelocks to help out with the setting up and all. Supposed to work at citylink as usual but i don't know why they want me there i have to report 2 hours ealier too because i think they short of man power so im trying my best to help i just realised im putting in and sacrificing quite a lot for the company i wonder whether it's all worth it...

I owe pictures from the night at clarke quay

Okay i am really really tired. Goodnight.

2008-08-29T01:53:00.002+08:00

Its 2am

and i just got back from the Newurbanmale meeting. Now Shenzi finally admits that he was wrong about the "little politics" in num. Apparently theres more now. He used to go, "I'm sure you all can admit that there is almost no politics in num". Now he says, " i must admit i was wrong, now theres a little more politics". I can't say out much cause its confidential except he also said, " got lizard behind me, wah go into my pants how?" stands up and looks at all of us and smile, sits down again and says, "nvm maybe i'll like it". A hundred numboys erupted in laughter some where along Devonshire road. Its not everyday you see a hundred boys in shorts squeezing in a single room, neither is it everyday you see a hundred boys in shorts waiting to flag a cab along orchard. Must be a weird sight.

2008-08-27T23:31:00.004+08:00

These few days

Sunday i went to Ruiyi's birthday party at downtown east. Fun =D First day was dress up day. I woke up early the next day and cabbed down to safra at tanah merah to meet dad. Unexpectedly i went back to the chalet in the evening. Both nights were spent watching thrillers.

Next day i went home and went to work. Fucking tired. Seriously.

Tomorrow night will be damn fucked up. NewUrbanMale.com corporate meeting. There will be conflict, disagreements and arguements. But we'll all just smile. I don't know why i'm still working there though. Oh well we'll see after the holidays. Tomorrow's meeting will be damn long, 9pm to ?? it usually ends after 1, sometimes 2 or 3. I am going to die.

I wanted to say something else but it escapes me.

Oh its already 28th, Happy Birthday Ruiyi =)

I can't believe i did this...

Nigel supposed to be girl..

Once again happy b'day ruiyi! you are nice girl.

2008-08-24T14:24:00.000+08:00

Today i learned something new

Never strap your suspenders to your boxers...

2008-08-24T00:26:00.002+08:00

We throw bananas into rivers

On Thurday night to celebrate the end of our exams and semester. We went to clarke quay to drink. Well was supposed to club but its okay. Hermy msged me and asked me to open my bag, i found 2 bananas inside... crazy. we threw them around along the river, climb poles, run around and gave each other fireman's carry. Finally the banana was so soft it splattered on the floor. So we threw them into the river and watched them float. We scream at the people taken the thriller rides on the opposite bay.

Friday was spent with love, had nice breakfast and i slept, sorry =/ I hate to see you tear.

Evening, below love's place. Hermy called to tell me about his grandma. I cried on the spot, familiarity... not too long ago i lost someone i loved dearly. I met him straight after and we sat under his block to talk. I talked about how granddad passed and i started crying like a fool again. I know men are supposed to be strong and all but please give me a break. But his grandma is in the hospital now, i think she's doing better.

Saturday football in the morning, hurt my ankle again... Afternoon went shopping by myself because this chengyong and joel pangseh me for food and women. Typical men. I bought 2 shirts, shorts and specs total less than a hundred im damn happy, well short lived though. Went on to work, got some politics, i seriously want to move to wheelocks. I can't stand it anymore at citylink. Reasons i can't say incase num people are reading. Oh well chunming and i went home bitching non stop.

Now i'm at hermy's place writing this post. I'm staying over because i can't go home. I'm not supposed to be home till morning. Parents asked me to stay out i missed the 8 o clock curfew. Its for my granddad. Some custom.

Today 'm going to Ruiyi's bday party at downtown east dressing up as a geek. Fuck...

2008-08-20T23:32:00.005+08:00

She sold Sheesha on the seashore. (editted)

Today we had Business Law i dont even want to talk about the paper. Serena and I went everywhere after that from sweelee's to bugis street to haji and arab and we visited Vannessa. And we went on to do sheesha.

Rushed back home had to be home early cause of some custom. Have to stay locked up in my room from 8 to 11.30. I won't give details but im very hungry and i can't go out im still stuck here. I havent started studying... though tmr will be our last paper.. and possibly our last class tgt.

Oh and i dont have a bed tonight...

I am tired both physically and emotionally.

2 hours of sleep last night my body feel aches in some parts of my ribcage and im having shortness of breath. Even walking around my eyes start to close.

Emotionally because i've still not gotten over my granddad. Its really not that easy to forget. Infact i dont think i want to, thus to prolong his memory with a tattoo.

I actually think everything is due to my jealousy and pettiness.

i hate myself at times.

2008-08-20T01:45:00.004+08:00

ALAMAK MORE STRESS but Happy Anniversary

Today more stress because i planned to study but in the end i went out to westcoast with love and she wanted to make me study but i couldn't concentrate because she was so attractive we shifted location we walked around we ended back at my place we watch tv we eat dinner and now im here writing this post and to tell you that it is 1.50am in the morning and i have yet to start studying for business law which is at 9am i know i just know that this time i'm really in deep shit partially because business law is a stupid subject that requires one to memorise everything down to the last detail and there is just so much to study the content is much much more vast compared to business management that one still can crap and talk cock this paper oh this paper is a uncrappable paper there are no loopholes or sidewalks it is one straight path that one has to follow i know i'm in a fucking deep amount of shit...

Anyway Happy Anniversary.

We all forget now and then

Doesn't really matter

2008-08-18T19:25:00.001+08:00

This week has not been good and its not going to change.

Forget it... just forget it...

2008-08-18T02:13:00.003+08:00

BEYOND STRESS

I DONT KNOW WTF IM DOING ITS 2.20AM IN THE MORNING AND I'M STILL MUGGING FOR BUSINESS MANAGEMENT IT IS SO FUCKING FULL OF CRAP THEY JUST PUT COMMON SENSE STUFF INTO DEFINITIONS AND I DONT SEE THE POINT OF STUDYING THAT ITS JUST HOW YOU HANDLE BUSINESS RIGHT WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT IT IS FREAKING CALLED TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY I ACTUALLY PRINTED OUT NOTES I I THINK IM DOING QUITE OKAY I DONT SEE ALOT OF SPELLING ERRORS BECAUSE MY EYES ARE CLOSING AND I DONT THINK I CAN CARRY ON ANYMORE IM QUITE OKAY IF I CAN TYPE LIKE THIS I HATE THIS SUBJECT BUT IT'S ONLY GONNA GET WORST I SPENT 12.30 TO 1 WATCHING TATTOO WARS VERY GOOD VERY NICE YOU SHOULD WATCH IT BUT I PERSONALLY THINK L.A INK IS BETTER THAT WAS AT 10 BUT I DIDNT WATCH WAS FREAKING BUSY MUGGING I CAN'T BELIEVE I MUGGING SERIOUSLY CAN YOU PICTURE IT IN YOUR MIND TO SEE MY SITTING DOWN AND LOOKING AT PAPER TOMORROW I'M GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT THE WORDS WONT GO INTO MY HEAD AND THE DEFINITIONS ARE STUPIDLY DIFFICULT TO MEMORISE BECAUSE THEY ARE SO BLOODY DETAILED I AM SIMPLY STUPEFIED BY THE INTENSITY OF THE SHEER AMOUNT OF CONTENT IN THIS SUBJECT AND I AM WASTING MY TIME HERE TYPING THIS NONSENSE I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK BUT I CANNOT CONCENTRATE I'VE BEEN GOING IN AND OUT OF HOUSE FOR BREAKS AND VANNESSA NEVER REPLY ME THATS WORST I CANNOT CONCENTRATE TIMES TWO I WANT TO DIE I AM GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE I AM GOING TO DRINK DETERGENT NOW.

2008-08-17T13:07:00.002+08:00

I'm moving site!

Work yesterday was fun. Worked with Mohan Joseph Kumar. So at about 8 i went to the toilet, was working at heeren btw. Then i saw 2 ambassadors outside and i gave them a face.

"whats happening"

Whispers " Got some guy steal beatles, he's hiding in the toilet"

" HUH?! Then how now?"

"We wait for him lor."

" OKAY STEADY HE COME OUT WE SPEAR HIM! ... eh but i want to pee la..."

" GO LARH!"

"Orhhh...."

Before i pee-ed i bent over to see, i saw his feet.

After washing my hands i bent over with another ambassador and swee swee the fellow bend down to look out. Saw him. After that he started making calls. Jospeh came and the guy came out. The guards were alraedy there. More ambassadors came. Jospeh opened every cubicle and finally found the beatles stuck in the toilet bowl in the fellow's cubicle. He attempted to flush a size 10/11 slipper ... stupid right? Want run away also run down mah wahlao go run into toilet.

Jospeh and i couldn't help but laugh at him till closing. Stupid boy...

Anyway i'm going to move site soon, probably to livejournal but it's freaking laggy so im still contemplating. Once i get the site ready i'll change straight away. Get ready to relink yo.

2008-08-16T10:17:00.006+08:00

Sorry

I constantly find myself apologising now and then. I'd look back and always wonder why. Yes you have excellent reasons to be disappointed at me. I would be too. You know maybe ... maybe this isn't cut out to be all it seems to be... Maybe i'm making you much more unhappy.

Maybe i don't deserve you. Yes thats right, I don't.

It's been a week since granddad passed. I find myself stoning infront of my laptop thinking about him. Everthing is flushing back into my head.

All this stress is getting to me. Waking up early the previous morning to head down to school in order to study alone in the atrium. Passing of granddad. Being a disappointment. Work. Exams. sleeping late nightly.

Funny how everything that made you happy could turn around in just a week.

I don't think i can handle everything.

Like last night i just collasped on the room floor the moment i got home.

I need to go down for a cigarette.

2008-08-15T23:41:00.002+08:00

A Tree

Today while studying i looked at a tree being swayed by the wind. I got temporarily distracted.

I don't know why but i started thinking about life.

Weird huh.

My eyes are closing.

2008-08-13T00:54:00.005+08:00

Beauty.

Like and angel you reach out and pick me up when i fall.

I've seen you everyday for 6 days. For 2 i woke up to your face. You make me feel happy and i forget about everything else in existance when i see your face.

Thankyou for being there.

Anyway i've been looking seriously at tattoos. I'm getting one for granddad and grandma so that i will never forget, i'll make it so that i can add on for people whom i love who have passed. I kinda have something in mind but i'm going to wait for awhile to allow myself to comtemplate and have a solid idea. And when i really want it, i will get one. Regardless of the army.

I will have to get myself back on track. Its not really moving on but i think i am able to get back and still miss him.

I want to miss him.

2008-08-11T23:19:00.003+08:00

Goodbye

Today was the last day of the wake.

I expected myself to cry during the cremation. However, i didn't. While everyone else were crying hard i stood in the middle, quiet, watching on. I looked at faces, and the process. No i will never forget this moment in a lifetime.

I heard silence and peace among all the crying.

I don't really know why.

After everything i walked over to mum and dad.

I had a straight face.

But i fell into a simple, inexorable oblivion of tears

Thanks everyone for being there. Especially love, you've been there in every way every single day since granddad went into the hospital. You were there to hold my hand, wipe my tears and embrace me. You were there to make me smile and laugh and have little moments of happiness which took me away for brief moments from the undeniable facts.

I wish you could be next to me forever.

I want to wake up to your face again tmr.

Thanks everyone for your comments too. Please dont quarrel on the tagboard i find it quite weird and funny

Last night i took photo albums which were around since 1933 to have a look at. They had pictures of my grandad when he was young and they had photos of my dad when he was a baby. They were in black and white. The pictures are extremely beautiful.

I was left wondering how the hell a camera from that age could focus such beauty, create shadows on faces and capture life in motion.

Looking at all the photos was a ride of discovery.

It really was i have decided to keep my own. Apparently Granddad was a serious photographer who had a friend was was famous in that scene in his time. I guess thats why he could come out with photos like that

At least i can see his past and now i can remember him by with these photos.

Tomorrow i'm studying in school.

I have not slept for 3 days

I still can't believe you're gone.

2008-08-11T00:44:00.002+08:00

My Last Night With You.

"The person that means the world is at the end of the isle"

Tomorrow you will be gone. I will never see you again, ever. I will never hear your voice and laughter. I will never feel your touch. I will never see your smile again.

But I will have memories. The lovely memories you left behind. The last smile you gave to me is ingrained into my mind.

It'll never disappear.

Last night was spent playing the guitar, playing cards telling jokes and giving each other smart little riddles to keep ourselves awake. Walked in and out to take short looks to try my best never to forget that face.

Tonight i will spend my time next to you. Although you're silent, i'll watch over and look at you like there's no tomorrow. Simply because there isn't.

No sleep. Already starting to feel dizzy.

But i must last till tmr morning at the very least.

At the very least,

till i see you disappear into ashes.

I will collapse.

Like last time.

2008-08-09T15:54:00.006+08:00

And I miss you the most.

.
Right after my first soccer match. Sister msged me.
“Kit... Grandpa might not make it. His condition became worse. Try coming down today."
.
I started crying.
My hand shook as I tried to light up a cigarette.
.
Went back home to change and got out immediately. Little brother, Vannessa and I cabbed to NUH. I felt scared during the journey, didn't know if i could make it in time.
But I guess that’s the beauty of it all,
Any moment could be our last.
.
Even walking along the corridors I felt afraid. I didn't know what to do or feel.
But it came naturally, the moment I saw him.
I couldn't stop.
.
All the relatives were either in or outside the room. Each taking their turn to go in and wake him up. He didn't respond.
We all looked at the life support machine for constant updates. The one with the curved lines beeping up and down. The alarm constantly went off, indicating a drastic drop in his blood pressure and heartbeat rate. Initially it was normal, but after awhile, it started to drop, slowly.
.
My uncle was on his way back from a business venture in Vietnam. He was estimated to reach at 5. My other uncle came back the day before. He missed my grandmother's death. He didn't want to let it happen again. We all hoped that he could last for just those few hours.
.
Granddad was laying on the bed. Eyes closed. I still remember the way he smiled at me the day before. The glint and happiness in his eyes when i introduced Vannessa as my girlfriend. He laughed.
.
Now he can't even move. He wears an oxygen mask and takes in slow and short breaths. He doesn't respond to anything. People took turns to cry by his bed side. Our face masks were damp and wet from all the crying.
.
I have never seen myself in this state before.
.
Vannessa and I went down. I didn’t have the appetite to eat but i did anyway. She went off after.
.
We all knew he would go. It was just a matter of when. I went back up. Hugged mum. Her face and eyes were red. So were mine. I went back into the room and watched from then on.
.
I watched the colour slowly leaving his face. I watched on as the line on the machine got straighter and straighter. I watched on as his blood pressure got lower and lower. I watched on as he takes in less oxygen from his mask. I watched on as his breaths got shorter and shorter. I watched on as his chest stopped moving. I watched on as he stopped breathing.
No the line didn't come to a complete straight line like you see in the movies. No it didn't give a long siren to notify you of his death. The machine stated that he was still alive. He had a pulse.
But i realised then I was watching my grandfather die.
.
I stroked his hair and felt his cold forehead. I kissed it.
A nurse came in and requested we all leave the room. We did, i looked on as she pulled the curtain, blocking our sight of him, I was the last to see him before the curtains were closed. My aunty swore. Nurse came out and told us she needed to get a doctor to certify his death.
I cried
All of us rushed back in and looked on. There were soft weeping and loud cries. I was at the corner, watching on.
.
Doctor came in. Once again I wanted to be the last to leave. A few minutes later she came out with a long stretch of paper. Looks at my dad "Are you the representative?"
Dad nodded. I walked over.
"Official time of death is 2.16pm. We need you to sign some forms"
It was over.
.
Everyone went back in. Some refused the fact and continued trying to wake him up. I curled up at the corner.
.
Chengyong called right after, I started crying before i could reply.
I started making calls on the floor at the side of the corridor.
.
I have never cried so much in my life, my head hurts from all of it. I went back in and stroked his head again. Took a good look at his face. Its features; wrinkles, colour, the way his mouth was opened to a side. I will remember it forever. I kissed his forehead once again and left the room.
.
Right now granddad,

I miss you the most.

2008-08-09T00:07:00.005+08:00

Was today special?
.
Today Vannessa and I went to NUH to visit granddad. I don't know what to say. I grew up with him always around, the memories of him chasing me around the house with a cane, I’d run up into my room and lock the door and hide while he hammers and hammers non-stop. I wish he could still do the same, I wish he was still able to whip me senseless. Soon after Grandma passed, he had a stroke which impaired his ability to walk properly. Everything went smooth after that he was still mobile and could remember everything clearly. Then came another stroke which got the right hand. He couldn't write anymore. Soon he stopped reading too. He started to forget, slowly but surely, he started to forget. At one point he couldn't remember my name. It comes and goes; his memory.
.
The doctor asked how i was related to him and said that he needed to talk to us.
Love and I went out to listen to what he had to say.
Apparently, Granddad doesn’t want to eat or can't swallow. He told us that they had another option;

"We will stick a tube up his nose and let it run all the way down to his stomach and feed him with milk. However, I don't have to tell you that it is going to be painful and if he tries to pull the tube out we would have to tie and strap him down. Is this okay with you?"
.
Deep down, i hated the idea. I hate how he has to feel more pain than he already has to deal with. I hate how you have to strap him down. I hate the whole idea.

Can you imagine yourself on a bed, unable to breathe properly, heavy lungs, choking on your own phlegm thus rendering you unable to speak. Can you imagine a group of unknown people standing around you and you can't seem to figure out what was happening; what was all the fuss about? You wake up finding a tube leading into your nostrils. White liquid is being pumped into it. It hurts, it hurts so much. Plastic on bare flesh. You can't take it. You try to grab the tube out of your nose, not knowing it runs all the way down to your stomach. It hurts even more when you tug it gently. But you pull anyway because you want it to be over, the pain that you're feeling constantly. The unfamiliar faces hold you down and begin to tie you up to the sides of the bed. You try to resist but they are much stronger, so much stronger that in the next minute you find yourself unable to move. You can't do anything but lay there and feel the pain. No matter how you struggle, they won't let you go. They won't let you go.
.
I called dad and he agreed to it. He didn't sound happy either.
Who would?
Now can you all tell me...
Was my 080808 special?
.
Oh well, on a lighter note love and I wanted to try something special and different today. I suggested jumping into Clarke quay's river. She suggested donating blood since we were in the hospital. I went with it. We were so excited but found out you have to be 18. But we're still going to do it after we get our forms signed =)
I'm glad you're here.

2008-08-08T00:32:00.005+08:00

Why do skies turn grey?

I used to ask a lot of questions in the car

"Mum, why do the skies turn grey?"

"It's not the sky, the clouds turn grey."

"Why?"

"When it turns grey it means its about to rain. It has to rain sometime."

"Why can't they stay white forever?"

I sat next to granddad again today. He breaths were short and rough. He looked as though he was in pain. He couldn't open his eyes. My maid was crying. I called dad immediately and asked that he get to the hospital. Ambulance arrived within an hour. Now the bed is empty.

I'll be visiting him tomorrow with Vannessa.

I'll make sure i won't regret like that last time.

.
I'm watching Jackass now on mtv. I'm watching Johnny Knoxville wrapped up in meat and being attack by dogs. Now he is standing then and just received a sledgehammer to his balls. There's this midget running around naked and is being squashed by a super fat naked man. I love Jackass it cheers me up.

2008-08-07T01:44:00.002+08:00

I SAT ON THE BACK OF A LORRY!!!!!

Woke up at 2.

Granddad isn't doing well. Woke up only to find out that he has chest infection. At his age its pretty serious. He is 90 plus. I sat next to him today for quite sometime. I see him taking in short breaths, gasping for air, slowly reaching out for my arm. I started crying. He looked at me but i don't think he knew whats was going on. He gave me silence.

I wonder if he knows what is to come.

If he does... i wonder how he's taking it.

Went down to Clarke Quay's starbucks left around 830. Went onto David's lorry i enjoyed the breeze blowing through my hair. We passed by Orchard and i started randomly shouting at people by the sidewalks. We stopped at Coffee club opposite Cineleisure. We cabbed home. Sat under Hermy's block to talk and off home. I'm tired. I'm worried.

2008-08-06T01:09:00.005+08:00

Walk of Faith.

Insecurities kick in and you'd play scenarios in your mind

These scenarios are of the worst

They are you deepest fears

But what if everything

was true all along?

At times we have to make the leap.

I guess faith is most important in your time of need.

Have faith that it won't be the same anymore

Have faith that everything will turn out right

Have faith that it'll be okay.

But then again...

What if faith isn't enough?

I guess time will tell

I'm watching Munich on HBO now. Its very interesting and deep i'm glad i understand. Its full of violent, impulsive human emotions yet it's scary in the way how things come back to you and how afraid you can be, how dangerous men can be. But also the movie can be long and boring.

I'm yours just came onto MTV. Watch first.

Photos from friday.

2008-08-02T02:00:00.004+08:00

SplishSplash oh oh oh Whiplash

Last night was spent headbanging and swaying on a dancefloor with awesome people. Details i will not mention.

Tip from Farabee: Do not post anything about experiences in clubs, everything is behind closed doors. Only tell those you trust.

No i did not do anything funny.

I'm a very, very good boy

And i have a case of whiplash it hurts so bad

Woke up late. Missed all my classes for the day. Went to town with Kai to get pay only to find office closed with a note on the front door.

" Sorry guys, the cheques aren't ready yet, please come that later. Junior"

Wah lao i was effing pissed i was supposed to be in school studying for DSS.

Studied for a few minutes with jeanette and suefei

I know i failed.

Today we sat along the rivers of Clark Quay to drink. Serena was the first to lose it. Jeanette was one of the worst cases i've ever seen. Russell is a nice boy he came all the way down from Hougang to bring her back home. The rest of us went back. I'm still the best at holding my alcohol =)

Anyway, did my hair today too. I can't be bothered with it being long anymore i like to leave it natural and all i think i'm very southern boy.

I love you Vannessa! I tried calling you just now to say that but you didn't pick up.

Alright i need to sleep.

Tomorrow is another long day.

2008-07-30T01:02:00.004+08:00

Do you really?

Rachel must cheer up =) pls

Worked at Main Heeren today. Wah lao i've never sold so many underwears to people before in my life. Its so much different from citylink's because the customers there are much more friendly and willing to buy stuff. Easy to sell

Other than that i think my MacroEcons retest can make it. Tomorrow going to school at 2 instead of 9. Intend to skip a couple of classes.

I'm still aiming to buy that guitar from sweelee's.

"Who does?" You know, i really dont need sarcasm for caring, i really just want you to be happy, if im such a piss off i'm sorry, i won't ask you again. I had the feeling you would break your promise. Apparently promises made to me don't matter. Sometimes, just sometimes you should realise you may not be the only one feeling like shit.

Coincidental dressings

Ahahahahahahahah rubber ducky she censor herself.

2008-07-28T09:49:00.006+08:00

The usual morning ride to school?

This morning dad and I got into the car and the driver went off as usual to drop me off at school before driving my dad to work. Dad and I were talking in the backseat about the usual bullshit, he didn't bring his newspaper to take his attention away from me. There was also the usual hiatus and silence between us. Dad suddenly swore loudly and we heard a crash just a few metres infront of us. He saw the entire thing happen. I moved to look pass the drivers head and saw that all the vehicles had stopped and that a car and stopped right in the middle of the road. Initially i thought that 2 cars collide and that it was a minor accident. I focused and found a man with a white helmet standing up from behind the grey car. He ran towards the front where the bike had fallen. Several drivers infront came out to watch and the people in the car did too. Apparently they came out of the turn and didn't notice the bike. So dad and I concluded that it was their fault. We saw the man with the helmet bend down and we thought he was trying to pick his bike up. The cars started to move on and so did our driver. Passing, we saw the the biker bending over to his friend who was lying down on the road breathing heavily with people making phone calls.

I couldn't help but feel pity/down and wondered what it would be like to be semi responsible for the injury/death of a friend.

2008-07-27T23:00:00.003+08:00

We ride and no we don't stop no matter what they say.

I'm fucking watching I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry ahaha funny.

Thursday went crazy. Breakfast at kap with jerrold, serena and jeanette as usual. Watched Away from her with Vannessa. Very good movie lots of good phrases i wanted to use them in this post but she used it already.

Look where her hands are.. lucky bastard.

Now he's even luckier.

He is luckiest.

I like this shorts but it gets uncomfy at times.

and it was our last Macro Econs tutorial.

Mr lee is a very nice guy

Friday we went to Orchard to have a look at the brazil team only to find out that it was the wrong hotel... all chengyong's bloody fault it was Oriental not Meritus. So we decided to go to Clarke Quay to Hermy's starbucks outlet to chill and get free drinks and we walked around only to end up at Brewerks and only had a beer cause we kinda broke. Went back to starbucks and during closing we blasted music and danced in the outlet kinda funny. Cabbed back and puked roadside again cause of the weird mix of coffee and alcohol with lots of mints and smoke and jerky, unstable motion form the lousy taxi. No i wasnt drunk.

My cigar ahahaha

Late and sleepy

Ima MUNKEY

Saturday training as usual, went down to Oriental this time and got a chance to see the Brazil stars Ronaldinho waved back at Joel and me we very happy =) after that i went to work with Marcus and Ryan its been a very long time since i last seen Marcus bloody bastard ahahaha. In train by coincidence everyone took the same way met a few other numboys on the way 6 of us cover alot of space in the cabin of the train. Sat downstairs with Jerrold to talk abit. Started burning random stuff

Yay flamed teh ping.

Sunday woke up at 1 or 2 slept late previous night. Evening went for a meeting with this Hongkong based Acting/Modeling/dont know what else very long i dont wanna mention company. Don't think i'm going to take them up on the offer though they were the ones who groomed and managed Fiono Xie and Jeanette Au. Went home Had dinner with family its been weeks since i last went out with them they think that i dont spend enough time with them which is actually very much true however i really am trying my best. We had Durians after that i'm very happy i found my purpose and aim in life i want to be a Durian Seller.

Tomorrow is another day... I have Macroeconomics retest i'm so pissed off at the fact that i failed. Whats worst is that the timing is damn fucked up. Oh well.

2008-07-24T00:34:00.003+08:00

All in all

We shouldn't pretend it doesn't exist. Because the fact of the matter is that it does. Should we leave it in a corner in the darkness, it will feed and grow and engulf everything we have.

I actually dressed to school today. I looked ahtas and smart. I think presentation was okayy but then again i didnt do anything so i'm not the one to complain.

I'm proud of myself i only did two today. But then again its only because i had two.

I just realised more and more gay men are coming back into the store to look for me. Like they come in and look at stuff and when i approach them and find them familiar they start smiling at me and start talking. "oh you rmb me ?" " oh hello i didn't see you there" " hey how are you doing? long time no see" " hey i rmb you". And they will ask the days i work, and only want to buy stuff when i'm around. It feels awkward but kinda cool at the same time.

Work and it's politics...
.

I forgot to bring my phone to school/work today. I always forget to bring something, iPod, wallet, laptop, camera, textbook or something i always forget.

I wonder how people survive without a hp. I constantly wonder what msges i should be receiving and whether its anything important or whatever. You'll want to rush back to check on your phone. It just doesnt feel right without a phone, i couldnt tell the time the entire day. I felt lame.

2008-07-21T23:22:00.005+08:00

Picnic in the night.

Sunday was our anniversary. We went to botak jones for dinner and then to west coast. Yay i surprised her with a picnic on an open field under the stars =) I took out mat, candles, wine glasses and wine i brought from a vineyard in australia specially for us and my iPod where i had a playlist just for us too.

I felt so happy just looking at her smile all the way

Really.

Happy Anniversary Love.

To a friend:

These things happen once in lifetimes, we can't predict when or how or why it did. Like a told you before, sometimes we strongly believe in something so much that we're so clouded to see the truth. We hope that everything may actually turn out okay.

We hope,

We hope so fiercely

that when we don't get what we want or if everything doesnt turn out okay, we crash into simple oblivion.

But sometimes in all the darkness you might just find a little rose.

I can't say i understand how you feel right now but i know its so, so much to handle.

However,

Let me be the first to say i'll be there if you need me.

I'll be there if you need me.

2008-07-20T01:46:00.002+08:00

Happy Anniversaries?

I missed mum's birthday dinner today... I've never missed it before. Not once in my life. I still feel the sting. Not a nice feeling.

I missed cousin's birthday celebration also. Sorry... but happy birthday!

Today is our anniversary. Happy anniversary love =)

2008-07-18T23:11:00.005+08:00

The skies were clear that night.

Thursday night was spent with Vannessa under a bridge, a Japanese restuarant in esplanade, walking around until we were tired. The sky was very clear and the moon created beauty amidst the darkness.

I'm sorry I make you unhappy. I really didn't mean to. I'm an asshole. I'm sorry. I'm sorry i can't understand your situations sometimes. I'm sorry you can't have someone better. I'm sorry i'm not good enough. I'm sorry i'm so insecure and i'm sorry my grades aren't good enough i promise to work harder i promise to be better. I hope you still love me.

Sunday would be an anniversary, can't wait.

Please make my heart flutter forever

Mum's birthday is today. But i have work at 5pm i feel lousy because i can't attend her celebration. Seriously, i can't find a replacement. Irritating num. Dad isn't too happy. Sorry mum. Happy birthday though. love you.

Today after rushing datelines and hanging out on the hanger of blk 52 i went to treat shianshun, joel and acy lunch. We then cabbed down to office to get my pay and we suddenly decided to go to Geylang to well... sightsee?

We set a challenge. 1 point for each time a prostitute touches and holds you. 3 points for asking them how much. Score is as follows

Shianshun - 9 (i think)

Joel - 2 (pathetic)

Acy - 14 (power la he seriously)

Kit - 14 (don't ask)

We walked around so many times uncles try to sell us indo ciggs. Pimps try to get us. Houses with red lanterns hung outside means that it has activities inside. We walked into gambling alleys to watch and looked at weird porno disc. I wonder why police dont do checks.

The first time Chengyong got touched by prostitutes i kept laughing cause they dared me to walk infront and thought i would kenna end up he got pinched on the nipples =D It was damn funny his reaction all i laugh until i cry and sweat. Right after that i got touched =/ knn

At one point it was so bad they crowded acy. I help and say "oi don't touch my boyfriend" then grabbed his arm and tried to leave. But they started getting all over me and pull my bag all almost ripped it apart they rather scary at times and the look they give you quite poor thing sometimes got the i want to get fucked really badly look i feel pity and you see old uncles all around asking them how much and banglahs going around having a good time and some trannys here and there one side indonesian one side china one side i dunno what but they gossip very loudly about us when we walk pass stuff like we look like students, they even recognise us when we walked pass again. I got whistled at thousand of times. I smile back at one and she went squealing happy.

Anyway thats a little bit about the red light district. Not a really good place to be. I don't know why we felt a little more chilaka today so we ended up doing the things we did. Now come to think of it i feel kinda sad for them

Everyday we should try something new. To make this day a little bit more special. Today i decided to go to school in very short shorts without underwear. Ultimate freedom.

2008-07-15T23:49:00.006+08:00

Days go by.

Its days like these that i listen to music and start thinking.

Its days like these that I get headaches from just pondering.

Its days like these that gets me wondering.

Why do we wake up in the morning tumbling?

The days go by quicker and quicker as we grow up. Until now I still havent figured out why. An hour used to feel so long back then but an hour now isn't enough for anything at all. I wake up go to school go to work and everything seems to pass so quickly i'm afraid i won't have time to savour life as it passes me by. Because events may only happen once in a lifetime i want to be there to feel it and capture it in my heart and mind you know...

Anyway im happy for Jerrold though he is being quite the ass quiting on us for someone else.

I have so many things to talk about but for now.. i'm going to take my guitar and strum myself to sleep.

2008-07-13T23:26:00.010+08:00

Secrets are very, very hard to keep.

All my secrets are exposed to my little brother. He finds out every little thing from every nook and cranny. But i'm not exactly the most discreet person in the world. I leave a lot of nonsense around my room. Its hard explaining stuff to him when he asks questions. EH BUT HE QUITE HOT STUFF LEH. My 13 year old brother is dating a girl older than him. I feel weird but proud in a way. But i think his taste leaves more to be desired.

Saturday was my suay day. Morning woke up soccer. At about 11.40am i got a call from Num at Heeren. They told me i was supposed to start work.. at 11. I forgot i thought it was five so i rushed back home with Jerrold all. At home big boss asked me to call him, got little short lecture and i promised it wouldnt happen again. Waited below my block for Jerrold and had a call from him after 10 minutes he told me he wasnt coming. So i rushed out to get cab. This white cab saw me stopped and drove away, i wont say why, no i didnt do anything stupid. I then waited damn long for another cab told driver to stop at polyclinic's ATM. Went there i humtum my number to get $50. I stood there waiting for my cash but it didnt come out. I looked in only to see my $50 note stuck in the machine. I tried to get it out but it shutted after awhile. I went to key in my number again and they deducted the $50 from my account although i didnt take it. I went to draw and it got stucked again. I took my nets card and faster kiap the fucking note out. Rushed back into cab flustered everything rushed down to heeren via pie. On the way massive jam running from bukit timah to lornie because something fell on the road so they closed a lane.

Had friendly today. Busted knee. Pain. But played okay. My stamina is still around.
This cool guy from the opposition came up to Jerrold and I after the match and asked us if we would like to join them sometime. He then offered to fetch us to simei but we ended up showering at some club and having dinner and going to parkway parade. He's quite cool la. He was a producer, owns 2 of his own albums. A lot of things la and he's very nice he treated us good chicken rice =)

I should be feeling happy and content, but i feel like a mess. Its been 2 days but it feels as though its been a long time.
I then realised what all this is about.
I will won't feel right if we don't see each other in awhile.
You're like a medication i have to take constantly.
I miss you.

2008-07-10T22:49:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry i get you frustrated all the time

I'm sorry i get you frustrated all the time with my short answers and lousy explainations. I'm sorry i wrote all my unhappiness down into our book. I just couldn't take all the senarios playing in my head i had to release it all somewhere. I don't know why but i'm being rather selfish and immature. Its just... i thought you'd always be there for me too you know. Oh well, oh well...

Anyway Chengyong and Shianshun covered today for me. We were late for movie so bought later tickets. Watched Hancock. I won't say anything though i do have comments i want to say. After the movie. Outside of the Cinema we talked.

"Eh this door open leh. What movie they playing? Eh want to sneak in and watch anot?"

"What movie they playing?"

"Shit, dunno leh."

3 of us stood at the door watching for a moment

"Ah go in watch la!"

"Eh dont want leh"

"I thought 6 plus you need to go back?"

Acy stood at door. Kit pushes Acy in and blocks door. acy tries to get out. acy quits. acy goes to have a seat and watched the movie. Kit and shianshun wonder why door not moving. Opens. go in. sit too. watched movie.

" Laugh "

" Laugh uncontrollably "

"yay we got free movie"

2008-07-10T09:59:00.004+08:00

Alamak i sick

I think i'm catching a flu.

I'm now at kap having breakfast with Jerrold and he is lying down telling me how the glutinous maximus is the sexiest part of a women's body.

I am sick I'm coughing I feel like throwing up ahaha i think its the weather.

Sometimes when i'm alone i ask myself questions and try to solve puzzles. I then sometimes arrive at an ugly possibility. It makes me think differently of people.

And sometimes i'm afraid that it may just be very very true.

Okay and Jerrold and i finally decided to start thinking about what cca to join. We bored la. I think i might quit num.

2008-07-08T23:58:00.004+08:00

Forgotten Fairytales

When you were younger i bet you had fantasies running through you mind every few seconds. Your little world where everything was perfect. You believe, you believed that in this life it might just turn out the way you want it to. You believe, you believed that everything might just be okay. You believe, you believed in your happy ending.

But as you grow older, you see the world from a different perspective. Slowly, slowly but surely you start to change. You start to realise what an ugly world this is. How people are so selfish and disgusting inside. They tell you how to lead your life. They give you rules. They use you. They hate you. The world judges you. You are catergorised into a box you don't want to be in. You are labeled, and stamped on with a hot rod so you'll never forget, you'll never ever forget.

So will you get your happy ending?

You then find yourself scrambling for air. To get out of that tiny box they squeezed you in. To get your sweet sweet escape. Where you can surrender and be yourself, just yourself

And in all this mess, in all this mess,

we are likely to be disconcerted by to the hiatus of thought

In all this mess, in all this mess

I thank god we can lie down together and forget the world

In all this mess,

I'll thank god for not taking away this fairytale

2008-07-06T06:59:00.003+08:00

I want to sleepppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alah fuck fuck fuck im so frustrated i want to sleep but i cannotttt.
I woke up very early without much sleep the previous night to play football as usual after that went for lunch with acy and left for work after i got my stuff from home they target high high today for work but we managed to hit it im very much proud i only had instant noodles for dinner cause we were in a rush here and there overall it was quite fun but i used alot of energy i went to meet alot of people for a night of fun we were crazy dancing to random tunes. I was fun but Johnathan is leaving for Canada in 2 days time =/ im very much sad. Johnathan life of the party.

I'm going to Vannessa's place tomorrow to wake her up with breakfast.

And just now i went over to Adam's place to pass him something i was damn lazy so i went in only my boxers and shirt. On my way back i did a turn and stood right in front of a quarreling teenage couple they were saying stuff like " i dont even know the real you anymore". wahlao so hardcore serious i wish i'll never hear that from my someone. Anyway they saw my bottom and stopped talking to stare at me i blush and quickly walked away it was as free as free can get though =D

shit my eyes closing as im typing

_______________________

Okay i just came back from Vannessa's place. I think she's feeling better i happy =) super tired alr. Quite a number of ppl asking me out tonight but i really can't go i'm sorry i need sleep.

2008-07-04T11:39:00.005+08:00

You very Chapalang but i like how?

We drank before going to class i think Serena seh alr but she keeps saying she isn't. Actually i dont think she is la just abit loose. Who drinks at 10.30 in the morning la. We went in all reddish and everything.
And i went for a swim at Vannessa's place yesterday its been a long time since i did water. I think im going to die going to swim today again.
Usual saturday night will be fun. After work i will go lepak with many people can play indian poker again.
Parents are not in Singapore this week or the next im not doing my nights properly i slept very late last night cause it was usual gossip nights with Hermy all.

You know how, when you put your iPod on shuffle mode in the bus while sitting in the back seat. You start thinking and all of a sudden it shuffles to the perfect song that suits your mood or says what you're thinking exactly the way you want it. Then you'll be thinking explicitly clearly, i like that feeling... when it shuffles to that perfect song.

Anyway, i've been very happy and satisfied these few days. I guess its because most of everything seems to be going right. There are only a few things that are really bugging me at the back of my mind but i think i can shove it aside temporarily.

2008-07-02T09:31:00.003+08:00

We roll and race down stairs on butts

We made so much noise the whole lecture hall looked at us who stupid enough to roll down lecture hall stairs on purpose? US =D Next time we going to race down lecture hall tables.

I just went to burn my nails because Serena said nailpolish is flamable her nail went on fire once when she played with the lighter and there was wind so now im trying like a moron i just burnt my finger =/ pain...

And some fellow just came into the lecture hall with a rose and asked for this girl she didnt come out he so poor thing i think the girl not in the hall.

anyway i'm happy with how often we're meeting and talking.

2008-06-29T20:17:00.004+08:00

I very ahtas

Weekend was used up staying out late with friends. Friday we drank and played indian poker till the morning. Saturday worked and then met them up at cine for a movie slept at 5 that night. Didnt effing know that it started at 2. So we sat and played cards and truth or dare at the youth park to kill the time. I am tired but i think im getting used to it.
I think my brother not trying hard in life he looks like he will fail and dive into misery for the rest of this days. As a brother im supposed to help but i can't do anything if he doesnt want to help himself.
School tmr again we'll see what happens, lots of projects and assignments to complete and tests tests tests tests tests.

2008-06-27T00:42:00.004+08:00

Friends?Paper or plastic?

I can't wait for tomorrow night can lepak with guys. We going to go crazyyyyyy

I finally found 2 true people i can go well with in poly. We crazy, loud and orang utan. Not a day goes by without laughter and fits and exchanging of little secrets. They are the only ones who do not have a plastic wall infront of their faces and are the only ones who are open to everything i say and/or do. Thats why i can click with them they are true people with personalities and i really know i am talking to them and not to some fake shit. We all have interesting stories and thoughts to share i respect them very much. Jerrold should join us cause i think we all can be very much fitting. We make so much noise everyone in the atrium turns to look and wonder where the high pitched screams and maniacal laughter came from everything just seems right with them i think it can work out well we can go lepak tgt and still accomplish work and study and still be there for each other if we're down .I don't think this can go wrong in any way and I think, i might just enjoy my poly life with them around.

anyway i'm tired, tired of repeating myself and even if i don't it wouldn't make a difference because i still know its happening. Can i tell you it really hurts me so?

2008-06-25T10:30:00.002+08:00

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

-My Immortal, Evanescence

2008-06-24T22:46:00.004+08:00

My heart flutters on a Sunday

Spent my Sunday with Vannessa in quiet cbd. It was fun.
Went to my cousin's wedding dinner after. I was effing underdressed. I need to prepare properly next time. I almost failed my business law paper. Jerrold's GPA currently 3.5 im jealous. I need to study. Okay i'm going to spam photos. We went crazy in kap we were so noisy and loud
.

All photos edited and done by her.

wooop

We went crazy with Serena's mac

Its so entertaining i dont know why.

Kit!

Serena!

Suefei!

Jeanette!

Abel!

'

Its alot. ahaha dont bother to wait for it to load la byebye

2008-06-21T07:12:00.003+08:00

Another typical boys night.

Today was spent sleeping till 4 had dinner with jerrold and spend the night out with Shianshun Chengyong and Johnathan its been a long time since we've met Johnathan. We were pretty crazy at one point stuffing our heads well actually mine into dustbins and such calling up random people to talk nonsense and talking about our lives pretty much there was alot to share. Then we got pretty emotional at one point too.

Yay i finally finally met vannessa today =) i happy

Johnathan johnathan

2008-06-18T20:36:00.003+08:00

Where were you?

I don't know why but we ended up at Pasir Ris Chalet with a big bottle of vodka. No good.
We kinda crashed Jerrold's class chalet. Played card games drank a lot with people i dont know. Chengyong was finished he ended up lying down sleeping on the floor in the open not that he was drunk i think he had too much. Joel smart never even drink remained sober and intelligent. Jerrold puked and then stopped drinking after that very wasted but i think he's growing up already.
I was tipsy for a few minutes. And during that period, if i remembered correctly i was sitting down leaning on the wall alone with chengyong sleeping beside. I had the bottle to myself when everyone stopped drinking and i finished it after pouring red bull in.
Then i sat there randomly murmuring stuff and started thinking i think i got quite emotional at one point because i needed someone but no one was there and no one saw thank god after that i was okay and could walk straight i gave everyone a happy face because they were people i didnt know. Got to have abit of poise now and then la.
Cabbed home in the morning i couldn't sleep because i was still thinking. Wasn't till the sun was high up that i managed to.

Where were you?
I needed someone to hold
I really needed someone to hold...

2008-06-16T18:40:00.006+08:00

Cheers to Sydney

Well i'm back and was very much surprised to find a letter from vannessa on my bed when i got back home. I was happy. Then i read the end and became sad. Its not the letter.

Australia was well, okay. Nothing really much amazing. I got pretty exclusive havaianas tough =) i bought for some people. You can't get these in Singapore. I didn't really get anything for myself besides 4litres worth of different alchohol. Vodka Rum Tequila Wine, can't blame la duty free cheap cheap =) I just realised most of the stuff i bought are for people, im so nice, no seriously i am. ahah. So people lets go out chill drink go crazy. I need to get my mind off stuff anyway.

First day-

Went to First Class lounge eat and sip champange.

Made last calls and was off =/

Nest thing you know.. Sydney!

This is the Sydney bridge. We climbed it =D Good Shit.. Good Shit.. No seriously we did. It cost a total of a thousand over aussie bucks

Okay la i put many many pictures

Very vintage i like.

I secretly hate them and kick my brother's balls when he sleeps and draw on his face and leave a fart on it too sshhh dont tell him.

Cable car, glass floor, good fun

My father and i crazy

He looks EFFING RETARDED

Here in the mountains, my brother, father and i stepped on shit. I really dunno how the fuck.

I like this one.

We went all the way to see these rock formations here. Gosh.. wasnt extremely worth it, the valley was however.

I'm really quite lazy to blog about the trip. Erm pictures paint a thousand words what right. So yeah, i dont really have to write. Just that we climbed the sydney bridge, went to the mountains, went to the valley which was really good we went to this winery and i bought very good wine from there which is supposedly better wine than you can get from other places. I know you like white so i didnt get red. We drink when you get back =)
What else, oh yes, the sunset in the valley, absolute beauty. Shades of many different colours spread across the sky purple to blue to light blue to yellow to gold to orange to red with small puffy clouds and a silhouetted horizon and in a few minutes everything turns dark and all the stars come out there were so many seriously one of my best sunsets ever but i know i will have a better one when i go on a roadtrip on my own with my friends or something. I love roadtrips i do i do i do. Next year, can drive alr =) next year, i know i will havoc, but now already rather havoc la. so. yeah.

Yesterday after i came back unpacked and went to have prata at pasir panjang with acy joel and boonjie. Its been a long time since i met/talked to bj. We all then went to west coast which i really disapproved of because i have memories there but we ended up on the top of the pyramid thing acy is a lousy climber such a wussy sissy boy and he calls me gay. We sat at the top paying truth or truth, you wouldnt really wanna dare at the top of that pyramid la hor.

Today went to citylink's outlet for something. Can't say. Went to woodlands. Can't say why also. Then by the most coincidental shit i met Mr Loke on the train we went into crazy non stop talking mode decided to have lunch together and then went our separate ways.

There are many other photos la but i really really really think this is enough.

I think i've been doing alot of writing recently, esp in sydney i was writing a lot in my book.
Tmr tournament in NgeeAnn ah effing shit.
I've been eating a lot in Sydney. I fat already.

2008-06-15T16:12:00.000+08:00

Hey all you sons of bitches.
I'm back =)

2008-06-09T17:38:00.002+08:00

Of im leaving on a jetplane.

I'm really going now, as in in 5 minutes. I'm still not done packing im rushing like fuck i've gotta say goodbye to many ppl on the way im frantically stuffing nonsense into my bag i just know that im going to miss something out and regret at the airport.
bye people. bye vannessa ily =)

The little something that'll remind me of you.

2008-06-07T23:50:00.002+08:00

Of i'm packing i'm packing.

I'm packing my bags. I still need some stuff that i might go and get tomorrow. Even though its for a weeks only i still feel sad when i place my clothes in the bag. Anyway i am very tired. I'm going keep all the things i wanna say in my head/heart for now. Goodnight.

Jerrold is the only person i know who can pull of a semi bung/mat look which is very much weird.

2008-06-07T02:54:00.004+08:00

Of goodbye.

I'll be off in 2 days, to australia, monday, be back in a week, sunday. I'll be missing quite a bit. If you need me to do anything before monday tell me now. I sad because i'll miss sentosa. I don't know if i have anything due next week shit. Anyway its just for a week la i dont really have to say goodbye to anyone.

However i'll be missing you for 2 weeks. I can't even last 2 days i think i'll go crazy.

its 3.10am i got soccer at 9am sleep is required badly.

2008-06-05T02:21:00.002+08:00

Of your apple is still on my table.

I like the way she picks random food of the shelve of supermarts and create senarios of food and us in them. I am currently reading up on law for my test tmr, im reading because she wants me to. We spent today munching and watching shows. My room is in a complete fucking mess i cleaned it up im such a good boy. I am afraid of law exam. I don't know if i wanna continue working. I watched her sleep and i fell asleep too was shit tired because we woke up rather early. When we woke up she was pass her curfew shit we rushed back to her place. and baby your apple is still on my table.

2008-06-02T23:53:00.007+08:00

Of another useless shopping day.

Alah bugger. After tests which i think i screwed again, Jerrold and I went to town to shop. Ended up watching a movie, trying on useless clothes, wasting our time, rating women, rating men, making noises,eating ice cream while watching people walk by, rushing pasta down our throats, being late for movie and frowning at overpriced shirts.

Hello, i love you =)

I just realised that Jerrold is the only person who is always there for me.

2008-06-02T00:35:00.006+08:00

Of tests.

Everyday is a new test. Today's happened to be dinner with Vannessa's family, again. Tomorrow, its Macroeconomic's common test. Thursday, it's Business Law. I can tell tomorrow morning will test whether i can get up from bed. I hate tests.

Life seems to be getting right. Right as in it feels right. But whether it is, i really dont know.

2008-06-01T00:14:00.002+08:00

Of shit i am really really tired.

I am tired because i work so much i got common test i wake up early today i am very moody i sad i also forgot to bring my handphone to work i need to shop more and i am very free next week because common tests 2 days only so if you wanna shop or if you are my girlfriend and intend to make plans with me please tell me cause i am not working that much either i am very tired and shall sleep now.

2008-05-31T01:01:00.011+08:00

Of i'll never walk away.

What made you think i would do so in the first place? Whether we're sitting down at the pier, on an open field, some corner in school. I'll never walk away no matter the verbal exchange. As long as i'm still willing to love you i'll sit there and listen it through. I'm not letting it go that easily after 9 years.
Whatever was done i must honestly say made me feel all uneasy inside . It's the first time i got teary in school. There were doubts and i just had to know what went wrong in order to know whats right. We feel right. Being with you Feels very right. When i stayed up thinking about all the unanswered questions, i subconsciously made a list of questions to ask you the next day. But when i sat next to you, all the questions were lost. Lost so that it didnt matter anymore. Lost so that the surroundings turn to void. Lost so that its only you, me and the space between that matters.

If I am going to walk away Vannessa, then who would stay and love you as much as I do?

P.S. Even i've got to lean back and whisper, "Well don't we look happy up there in that picture."

2008-05-27T00:43:00.003+08:00

Of NewUrbanMale.com's Anniversary party

I'd be the first to say it was a blast. I got all access vip backstage pass and everything =) i was happy however i did miss the free flow of drinks. But Hermy and his group were being damn nice. They bought jugs which i ended up drinking most of. Matthew and i got rather high. I sat on the table and hugged 2 jugs, one was Hermy's friend's red bull vodka, another was some random person's drink i dunno what the hell it was. I went down and continued drinking and drinking i went to hug the random person's drink they didnt even know i was drinking from it and then i got caught. LOL. Yes they caught me and the 2 lesbians kept asking me to pay for another one. Shit man i felt so guilty.
I shan't go into details la. But matthew and i protected each other by being each other's boyfriend for the night. Damn it la i was kissed by like 2 guys, touched by many, grinded by 1 =/ his name actually rhymes with many.
We danced on tables, we danced alone on stage, we dance here, we dance there, we ran around like mad man, and all of the sudden when we were on our temporary high everything had to end. Cause we ran out to look for someone and Colin fired at us. He said there were a few police cases and he didnt let us go back in. So we were very pissed. And the make up artists from Toni and Guy whispered among each other asking which on of them did my hair cause it didnt look half bad. I over heard and said i did it myself =) and they were like "oh no wonder not nice" and we all started laughing. They thought i was one of the models. And when were packing up they drew lips on my neck and arm.

This is Havaianas boy and Rainbow Bear mascot (Marcus)

Hermy! I was sitting on the table when we took this.

3 of the 19 models.

Kit and Adam!

Matthew and Kit!

Okay I woke up at about 4 today? Went down to get Vannessa from school and we went back to our place for dvds =) We agreed to have dinner on thursday night. Ahaha i really wanna see what happens.
I am very happy we are back together. Really i am. It just seems very.. right.

2008-05-25T00:33:00.003+08:00

Happy 5th Year Anniversary NewUrbanMale.com

Tonight, We shall Party like theres no tomorrow.

So don your party tank. And i shall see you at St James.
Party on =)

2008-05-24T13:33:00.004+08:00

Of Meet the Parents

Today was IS day. Last lesson for IAC was today =/ no more Miss Sharon. We did commercial for Non Profit Organisations. I think we did a good job.

I went down to Orchard after school with to take something from office. And thennnn went back to school to meet Vannessa =)
We were supposed be at my place watching dvds. But on the way back her parents called and it suddenly turned into meet the parents dinner. Shit la.
We had dinner at Turf Club. I think i did okay. Oh and we went back to her place to watch the dvds we rented =) stayed till 2.30 i think.
I love her i really do

2008-05-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

Hello Vannessa baby, this song is to you. See you tmr =)

I didnt sleep last night. Also i secretly... didnt shower. LOL ssshhh. im a guy la, im allowed to be gross.

So sleepy in school.

After school went gym with Kai. First time i actually gymed

Yay David Cook win =DDD he's my fav i supported him from the start i always knew he would win cause he rocks.

2008-05-22T04:52:00.002+08:00

Of you

I still have little memories of us under that special tree. I'd find myself at a total loss of what to say. I didn't realise how much i missed you till you left. Its 5.50 in the morning and i'm still thinking about you. Well, i can't wait for monday though =) my mum choked on her drink when she heard about us. I'll pick you up from school anddd we can go get the dvd(s).

I love the way we pen our love down in ink.

I just finished watching the Manchester Match. Jerrold and I celebrating like mad can. Jump around throw pillows, high fives. Van Der Sar the Hero la. =D

Jerrold is asking me not to sleep but i am damn tired la. Cause we have breakfast on our thursday mornings.

Also, had NUM meeting today. Like hundred over guys squeeze in Cine Lounge. I got VIP and 1 free entry ticket for Sunday's NUM anniversary party. Alot of new num products are coming out already. So yeah, brace yourself. The meeting ended rather late la. So yeah..

2008-05-16T20:06:00.006+08:00

Of what it means to be me.

This is how busy i am. lets start from monday.

okay monday to wednesday i was meeting dealines for projects.
Had work on tuesday and wednesday.
Wenesday night i slept at around 3... hor Amanda =)
Woke up very early for breakfast with Jerrold at kap. Had McGriddels =) i like, i dunno why ppl say they dont.
Then went for school. Bumped into Matthew in the library and started talking about erm.. stuff. And met Vannessa =) we went down to Citylink area before i went to work. Worked with Ray Phua, num's scandelander's Mr June.
Vannessa was so sweet, she got me supper and coffee =D thanks yeah.
And soooo after work met kai, he had work too and went to PLAY again. Hermy and gang were already in there. Not that many people but still good turnup. I didnt really dig the music? but when it started to pick up i realise i didnt like the crowd either. No kick la, no Adam around to dance dance.
Nvm, so i drink. And was therefore intoxicated and stoned all the way. Left for Adam's place to finish my project. Couldn't think. Seriously intoxicated not drunk.
I cannot believe i managed to finish it. I downloaded so many softwares just to be able to edit my video and put it all tgt. I just realised its somewhat like a mcmer's life.
Had to present everything today. I think it went kinda well considering my group never even met up once. We managed to improvise everything la.
After school went out with Jerrold to get his ear pierced.
Now i'm back home. Everytime i close my eyes for more than 3 seconds, i need a lot of effort to open them again, people, thats how busy i am. 3 hours of sleep for 2 days =/ i'm going to sleep and i wanted to say i missed you

also, Joel's birthday is tmr! Happy birthday man.

2008-05-12T21:40:00.003+08:00

Of shopping =D

Saturday no football. Went out with family to shop =) Like walked whole orchard. But fuck, i went to try on like 15 topman shirts and jeans. None of them really worked out. I got like 1 shirt only. Got some stuff from WH also. Okay so i didnt really shop THAT much. We went HollandV's Hog's Breath, nth special.

Mothers day morning, had breakfast with dad and mum, sis and brother were still pigging on beds. And went for soccer training as usual. I went there by myself la, simei, damn far, was quite dissappointed that i had to go there alone. On the way, dropped by citylink to buy a bag for my mum. Wanted to buy one for myself, but crumpler was pretty much out of stock.
Played 2 full 90minutes matches. My whole body sore la can. Can't walk properly.
Ate at Manhill for mother's day dinner. The food there is simply fantastic.

After school today went down to office to collect pay with Jeric. Then shopped. Bought new Havaianas =D mine is damn exclusive =) i bought other stuff too. omg spend alot. i then went down to woodlands by myself to a doctor =/

anyway, i feel so alone these days. I just blogged boringly

2008-05-09T23:44:00.003+08:00

Of Lesbian night and those feelings

Woke up at 11 today, lessons started at 10. Mum fetched me over to school. I went in for 5 minutes worth of class. In fact, class ended alr when i went in. Met Adam during break. Then went for class. Went home, slept. And last minute they cancelled going to the dance party. I'm very much pissed off, you all don't want to give the extra mile to go out then fine. I won't really bother about you guys anymore too. Anyway you all good friends what hor, everything also nv jio. And you all say the problem lies with me. I go breakfast with Jerrold so early, after school straight go work, after work straight go club, 2 clubs mind you, next day lesson, and i still wanna go the dance party. Wahlao you all next day got work only say wanna sleep earlier. Come on la.
No im not a delinquent, I just wanna enjoy before I can’t anymore

Okay, so the clubbing part. First went over to PLAY after work with Jason, Kai and Derek. It was fucking boring and the music that sucked. But there was a Drag Show. Men/trannies in drag dancing on stage. I couldn’t resist, I asked them for a photo. Kai and I were laughing away. So it turned boring again and we decided to club hop to St James. Cause there was a lesbian party in the Boiler Room and so the crowd was there instead of PLAY. And OMG la, omg omg omg omg the girls there were fucking fucking hot. Music was extremely good. This is the main reason I go to non straight parties, because the music is much better, remixes of Sexyback, Lovestoned, Apologize, 4 Minutes, that thing you do. I mean these kind of songs are better to dance to. And there were 2 extremely Beautiful lesbians dancing right in front of me, they were next to me and kept bumping into each other, I decided to just sit and watch them dance tgt. 1 was an Angmoh babe, another was a hot hot Chinese girl. I liked the Chinese girl =/ I wanted to tap her shoulder and ask if she was straight. I took photos right in front of them and they seemed to like the attention. Yes they made out and were grinding each other all over =) lol. Damn it la.
Okay enough of info, went to LaoPaSat after. And cabbed home.

Alright then pictures =)

first PLAY

Drag Queen

This particular Dragqueen stripped and she/him/it was wearing red lingerie.

Last photo before we hopped to St james
I look drunk

Boiler Room

Kai! Fellow Numboy

Derek, lol omg he looks retarded

My turn to look retarded =/

Wahlao, everyone can tell thats Hermy's fat bod

More Drag queens.

Jason! my classmate, is very much interested in the Lesbians, too bad it isn't mutual.

Damien! Hermy! and Kit!

OKAY HERE'S MY FAVOURITE PHOTO. MEET REBECCA, OMFGappachi. She is damn damn damn hot. Her chest was like on mine la =) im in love with her. Look at her back la. I just had to go over to talk to her and ask for a picture.

These were the 2 girls dancing infront of me

Too bad i couldnt take their faces. I wouldnt anyway. Its not right. But hot hor =)

All of us, jason went back alr

2008-05-03T01:16:00.002+08:00

Of that self autopsy on our hearts.

As we grow up. We understand ourselves better. Cause we go through so much shit. Of course parents can argue that they lead a tougher life. But they knew it was going to be hard, for us, we grew up based on dreams and ambitions, only to find ourselves tumbling into the vicious trap unknowingly layed there for us. I, don't know what to do. I thought i had the ideal life. But slowly, it gets more difficult, and out of a sudden, without realising it, you looked up and found out you are way too deep in. My eyes beckon me to keep them shut, yet i deny them the pleasure, this i know, is growing up.

Anyway, after clubbing at Play, cabbed home while returning Gilbert's stuff at Chevrons. He's 21. Happy 21 Gib.

Play was fucking fun. Now i know how ppl get away from they're troubles.

We were dancing on the dancefloor when i got a tap on my shoulder.

Cute girl who was about my height asks " Hi! Are you gay?"
Me "Well, No."
Girl "Oh! okay. (she smiles) my friend thinks you're cute"
Me " oh... okay" (goes back to dancing)
The 2 girls kept follwing behind me la.

Was dancing like mad, they have excellent music.

Then, someone went up to my friend and said that her guy friend was interested in me. Then my friend went to tell her im attached. Which im not la. lol it was damn fun. I wanna go there on thursday nights... we dominated dancefloor =)

Eh Eh, Amanda wanna go ? =D but we go waffles first okay. Next week im super free. Only working on thursday. and prob club after that if i do. Btw, love the sentosa pics ;)

Okay i'm dead tired. Sleep time.

Nevermind me
Nevermind me,
i'll just cast shadows on your wall

I'll upload the rest tmr

2008-04-30T22:41:00.003+08:00

Of that famliar feeling of saddness

Eee sial la. Today's soccer tryouts sucked. I ended up playing left back instead of left wing cause so many ppl wanted that position. And i can't play left back. It was damn fucked up.
Its either i go for another trial this friday, or im not in alr.

And people, don't get overconfident la. Num is STILL not THAT easy to get in. But i'll still give you the number.
And i decided not to recommend people alr. Cause its like, everyone asking for recommendation =/

Yesterday i was supposed to work. When i reached there they said i didn't have to. Barcelona losts btw =/

So met up with Hermy at Cathay. Then chilled at starbucks. It was free cone day and the queue was 2 storeys long. Then Serena and Jeanette came =) We had dinner at Plaza's Ajisen. And chilled at plaza's Starbucks.

Afterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, went to meet Adam. We talked will 3.15 am even though i had school the next day. We finished off by watching 2007's Victoria's Secret.

Tomorrowwwww, dunno do what, get Gilbert's IC, work till 10, then go club at PLAY after. Shit man its Uniform night. I want to say again ah, im not gay even though i go PLAY.

This is like... the queue

The people are right above Ben&Jerrys queueing

2008-04-28T22:00:00.002+08:00

Of tiredness and indesicive transport options.

I skipped NgeeAnn Ambassador's games day cause i was seriously too tired. I figured i wouldn't have enough time for it anyway. Work and all.

I don't like some people in school already =/ i mean you can't possibly no everything in order to be so cocky right. I'm not stupid either. Use your sarcasm one more time and i'll slap your bitch face straight.

After lessons, Serena, Jeanette, Abel his friend and I went to Rail Mall to Eat to eat. They've got good noodles. They then had ice cream next door. Its been a long time since i was able to sit down and relax. I was freaking tired though.

Also, i dont know what mode of transportation to take home, i like missed the train then sat there, then went to take 99, then slept while listening to JustinTimberlake. I love sleeping in one corner of transports.

Got work tomorrow...... =.=" i think im like going to sleep alr.

Oh yah, Hi people, we at NewUrbanMale.com are hiring people. So if you think you're up to it then tell me and i'll recommend you in. Then probabilities of getting in are higher. Of course i must like you la. If you're a poser please don't bother. This offer is only valid for this week.

And ladies, if you're interested in working for us at Mooks then tell me too yeah =) Mooks is at Heeren, the sister brand of NUM. Thanks. Same, this week only.

2008-04-28T00:30:00.004+08:00

Of I can never find the right words to say.

Well, the title says it all. No matter what happens it seems that we'll always end up in each other's lives somehow, somewhere. Be it at Orchard MRT station, school, i dont know, i just feel that we always get involved now and again. Though the softest voice in my head forced myself to refrain from talking to you in the most poetically pathetic attempt to get over you. After all this, when we finally start talking, questions do erradically pop into thought, wondering what went wrong back then, only to search long for the answer and arrive nowhere. Did the feelings just went on hold? Were other factors of more importance? I know the answers will never be known but the mere hope of knowing what happened is certainly worth more than just another page in my dairy. I don't know whether feelings would still be lingering around somewhere. Either way, i can never catergorise our ambiguous relationship, maybe we're just substitutes for each other, a lovely breath of fresh air after a long absence. Though, i think, i can really get used to it. I'd inhale again and again and again and again and again. Thats my 9 years Vannessa. You know i love you you dickcrap =)

And fuck la, I havent do my POA hmwk. Miss dunno what is going to mark me a zero again. fuckkkkkkkk how. its not that i dont wanna do it? but i can't .. i havent bought my textbook.

And im addicted to Justin Timberlake's Lovestoned.

Todays match was good. 4-2 we won =D

Wednesday is second trials for soccer. Sian la, i hate trials.

I love but hate school. I can't like.. describe. I seriously need to get a proper tan. Who wanna hit the beach?

I'm working Tuesday, thursday, friday and Sat this week. And who wanna like, have macdonalds with me for breakfast pls ask. If your lesson starts at 9 it'll be great.

And i really wanna watch iron man. I seriously can't do my poa work la. fuck it.
Goodnight people =D

2008-04-25T23:13:00.004+08:00

Of lonely bus rides and an interminable sleeping spell

I ... don't... like... being alone. After a rather fun day at school i went down to Orchard by myself again. Credits to my clique. I went down to collect my pay at Devonshire road. Then went back home straight. I feel so like, no life. I hate like.. going around on my own... listening to music, its such an emo moment.

Anyway i was freaking tired. To know why pls read previous posts. I was sooooo tired, i started having a headache. When i finally got onto 334, i slept, missed my stop and circled back to jurong polyclinic. Can you imagine what it was like, waking up somewhere you went passed alr. I just closed my eyes and listened to loud music. Damn it la. So i decided to just go get bubble tea and waffles. Oh i love waffles btw, note that on your palm Amanda =D and walked home. Dinner with mum and siblings. Was supposed to supper with Gwen and Gladys. Last minute postphoned. thank god, im dead tireddddd okay.

But its like, i can take it you know. I only feel sleepy when im doing nth. In school im like freaking hyper. And work too, even if i was tired before.

anyway, theres football tmr. so i guess im going to sleep. Eh Jerrold, wtf? you promised to call me by 11 every friday to tell me what time. Dota more important right.... forget to call your bff.

Jason asked me whether i wanna do walks. I'm like comtemplating.

Say hello to some of the ppl from class of T31. Abel, Kit the king, Serena, Sufei and Jeanette! In order of whose butt is further from left to right. It was Grey day. We actually decide on clothing colour. You should've seen us in all black okay, it was so demoralising